I was born in Europe but raised in Australia and as my family didn't always have enough money to splurge on the European holiday, the visits back to my native nation tended to be on the sparse side of things. None the less, when i did go back i got to see all of my uncles, aunties, cousins and grandparents. Although each trip was unique and successful in many ways, it was my most recent trip that proved to be extremely memorable. I was 24 then and considered a true grown up amongst my relatives. With this new status came different conversations as i learnt from my latest exchanges with my grandparents.
It seems the older you get, the higher the ratings become for your family conversations, which suddenly turn from PG stuff (how is the weather? What type of animals live in Australia? What is your favourite food?) right through to the R18+ subject matters (Who are you dating? What kind of illnesses has the family experienced, who passed uni and got a job/who didn't, who died?) and the list goes on. Basically things get more realistic and less fluffy because you are expected to be able to handle those adult topics. By that i mean, no one dumbs things down anymore or tells you little white lies to keep up appearances. The truth of life and all that it entails comes out. Things that i would not have been exposed to as a child suddenly come to light and at that point it is like a whole new world has opened up. This came to the forefront when i had an honest chat with my grandmother one evening about life and how i was going. Initially i tried to steer clear of this very subject as i feared being judged or criticised by someone who i considered so much smarter than me, which in my mind was synonymous with intimidating. Rightly so, my grandmother is a professor of medicine so the title alone as well as all those accomplishments in her career grant her a respected status but as my relative i should have been able to just approach her without these thoughts in my mind.
As a university student i didn't really know how to compare my meagre life events to those that she had experienced. She lived through the Second World War after all, so her stories were always going to surpass mine on every level.
So, I won't bore you with all of the life lessons i took away from our heart to heart that evening but what struck me as most surprising was the following advice:
Finding a life partner - my grandmother told me there was no rush and that finding the one you are meant to spend your life with is a decision that requires careful thought. Now my grandmother has been married for over 60 years so i gather this advice is pretty solid with its supporting evidence.
Forging a career - now my grandmother was a hard worker. Pulling double shifts and managing the hospital ward was her idea of a regular working week. She did her time and was awarded the titles, respect and reputation that came with it. However, from what i expected grandma to tell me, which would have being along the lines of - work hard and you shall reap the benefits - is not what she said at all.
Her advice was quite the opposite; don't work too hard! You can always do someone a favour and help out and work extra hours when you need to but don't make a habit of it because in the end, it will only eat away at your health. Those words have stayed with me until today and i imagine they will never leave.
It just goes to show that even a professor of medicine and a proper and well educated woman can admit that working too hard is not healthy and searching for a life partner is not a race that should finish at a young age but simply when you decide you have found the person that is 'meant' for you.
I wanted to take the opportunity to say a big thank you to my grandma; may she stay healthy and wise and keep chatting with me on my future visits to Europe.
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