“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no
longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”
Robert Tew
When i first read this quote i thought, yes! I agree and of course this is how we should all be. It's the only way to really achieve that happiness factor that we crave as human beings, but when we look at everyday decision making in reality, can we really say we have all done this to the nth degree? Chosen to leave a job as soon as it got tiresome and less rewarding or did we stick it out to get that promotion we thought was well deserved after however many hours, months or even years of effort went into it. Can we honestly agree that every relationship we have been in has served us well, or made us grow for that matter?
I think not.
It's sad to admit but the decisions we make in life don't often involve our own happiness as a first basic instinct. We tend to rationalise and within a capitalist society we try to balance things and think hard about what we are doing and why we are doing it, but often it isn't because it will achieve ultimate happiness. Yes, it may be the goal we all hope for, but i've always wondered why it isn't the absolute first choice which dictates our decision. Why does the decision which may bring us some happiness always come with a side of unpleasantness that we put up with? It's a compromise that we consciously make and live with everyday. I just wonder why we do it so freely and sometimes too quickly.
It's true we can't be happy all of the time, but we should at the very least strive for this feeling to always take precedence over other variables, surely.
After thinking about it in relation to my own life choices i have made a conscious decision to focus more on happiness and what i want to do that allows this feeling to prevail as the clear winner in this mixed bag of emotions and experiences. You can call it selfish or self centred but i believe it's a healthy step in the right direction.
I believe if i had thought this way sooner and started analysing everything in a way that puts me and my happiness at the forefront i may have left partners sooner in the realisation that they weren't right for me or quit a job as soon as it was no longer fulfilling any of my needs.
Naturally we all come to a point where we start to value happiness a little more (it comes with age and life experience) and we start to draw the lines of what we can handle and what gets too overbearing in day to day cycles. Eventually it all comes to a head and when it does get too much and some days get tougher the others you should take a step back and ask yourself, have i set happiness as a high priority here? If the answer is no, then it may be time to move on.
If this was a perfect world in my head i imagine my priority list of 'things to achieve' would go something like this:
1. Be happy
2. Invest in the people that make you happy so that you may enjoy your life with them
3. Make lots of money (which supports item number 1)
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